


Unfixable Choices

by bedlom



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-07 23:44:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11634420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bedlom/pseuds/bedlom
Summary: In an AU where Alluka never existed, there's a boy who is on heavy medication and attached to a ventilator in a hospital. There is no known cure to Gon's condition after his fight with Pitou, and most everyone has already come to the reluctant conclusion that Gon can't be saved, and everyone is in conflict on what to do.





	Unfixable Choices

Some people had gone home after it was finally said he couldn't be helped by the nen exorcist, some had tried to insist that he was savable, and some had to excuse themselves. The only people who stood there now with Killua was Bisky. He could already feel her eyes burning into him with disappointment and maybe even anger. He couldn't bare to even glimpse at her, knowing what they both were reflecting on. _"Somewhere down the line, you'll leave Gon to die."_

Those words resonated within Killua, and the silence was crippling. He wanted Bisky to say something, to tell him it was alright. He wanted _Gon_ to tell him it was alright, to awaken and tell him he had turned out just fine. Why hadn't he insisted to go with Gon against Pitou? Maybe he could've prevented this all. Why... Why did Gon have to do this to him? Didn't Gon know that he was the only one who was willing to reassure him? Sure, there were a few friends he had made in his journey. But none had been able to make him smile like Gon did. Killua knew Gon wasn't dead yet, that the ventilator kept him alive. But he might as well be dead. But something in him couldn't move himself from the spot, his fingers clenched tightly into his pockets as his teeth ground together. Finally, the silence was broken.

"Killua, what happened?"

Otherwise, she wanted to know why he left Gon behind. Why he turned his back on his best friend. Tears gathered in his eyes as he searched for the right way to explain it, his fingers digging into his white shorts. He was eerily quiet, and when he lifted his head his sapphire eye stared at the curtains around Gon. "He wanted to fight Pitou alone. I just thought that he was going to use someone as a hostage against her and force Pitou to heal Kite." He would sob out, panic in his voice. "I wasn't afraid. I just didn't know." He would shake a little at these words as his eyes squeezed shut. "And then... Palm saw that something was wrong. Pitou was healing it's own arm, and I - I went after him. And when I got there I sensed something really weird. And that was Gon. Pitou was attacking him, she was going for a fatal blow. She got his arm instead. I don't know if I helped Gon or if I stopped him from getting hit -" He was cut off by a maternal hand on his shoulder that he hadn't even noticed in his distress, and his body was heaving up and down with sobs as Bisky gave a reassuring look to him.

"I'm sorry Bisky." That was the only thing he knew to say to her. It was his fault. He could've taken Gon with his godspeed away when he realized what he was doing, but instead he trusted that Gon wouldn't be so reckless. Apology after apology tumbled from his mouth, and soon she took a small step back from him and rubbing her eye with a gloved finger. Killua couldn't stop crying, and he could hear her constantly trying to tell him it was okay. He didn't know how to express his emotions to her - wasn't she enraged with him? He'd kill Bisky if she had been in his situation and hadn't stopped Gon personally, so why wouldn't she? "Killua." Her voice made his eyes glance up as she still stared at him. "What are you going to do? It's up to his family what happens to him. Do you know his relatives?" She questioned. Killua instantly snapped defensively as he gripped at the curtain Gon stayed within, as though about to fight should Bisky get too close to his friend. "No! It isn't up to them. It isn't. There's going to be a way, there always is." His voice was strained and wracked with guilt and anger. If Killua was in this situation, Gon wouldn't just let his family decide what happened to him. As if his aunt had a right in this decision. She'd just choose what was easiest to pay for and take him off the life support. And like hell were they looking to Ging for help - Leorio had told Killua of what happened, how Ging refused to visit his own son. Even he had grown up in a family that would smother him with love, so why did Ging deserve to make this choice? 

Bisky watched Killua's reaction. "Killua... When someone is at risk of dying, you can't just cling onto them. Gon is in critical condition. Nobody can heal him, nobody can take away whatever restriction he put on himself." She would sigh, and as she raised her hand to say more he interrupted her with a brief slice of his hand through the air. " _You_ are who told me I'd leave Gon behind to die. What are you even saying Biscuit? Don't you consider just handing him over to his relatives who he barely talks to the same as leaving him behind to die?" Killua interrogated. The seemingly little girl instantly glared at him angrily. "Of course it isn't the same thing! Gon can't be helped. He's already sealed his fate, so you'd be protecting him from nothing. Don't you even think? They might not be the most distant of relatives, but they still love him. You can't decide who lives or dies in this situation." She argued. Killua ground his teeth a little. He hated that she was right. That the only choice was to do as was right, and to let Gon's family decide. Bisky stared at him now, clearly not wanting to just sit here and to instead figure out what to do. "Killua, Gon's father is Ging, right?" She questioned. Killua only sent her a cold and angry glare, his eyes a dark blue as he only returned silence. Bisky had her arms crossed, and she returned the look with her pink eyes. "We should try to find contact with him. Leorio is competing against him." Killua frowned some. "It's Ging's damn fault Gon went on some crazy wacky adventure to be a Hunter in the first place. Gon's never even _met_ him!" He pointed out. Bisky was distressed too, but it was hard for Killua to tell. Why was she so calm about this? It was so infuriating! Just a few minutes ago, he knew she had been about to cry. The hell was her problem? He turned around, not even wanting to talk to her anymore. If he wanted to be the one who decided if someone lived or died, he'd go back to being an assassin. But then he supposed that his family had been right about one thing. He might've not been who made the blow on Gon, but now Gon was dying because of him. He had broken the promise he made to his father at this point. What was he supposed to even do? He bit hard on his tongue, to the point blood could be seen dragging down his jaw. As he was about to walk away to let Bisky do... Whatever she wanted, her voice cut in to his angry thoughts. "Would you rather Gon to be a breathing corpse, constantly attached to a ventilator that barely keeps him alive?" Killua froze. He didn't know what to say at the question. He knew there was no point. But... there was bound to be a cure. Killua looked at Bisky glaring at her. "I'm gonna find a cure for Gon." He'd snap back. He'd turn his back, head facing the hospital room floor. Could he? He didn't even know. But he wanted to. He's taken life from people, so surely he could give it back to someone who wasn't even dead yet. Bisky only kept staring at him, a pitied expression on her face that Killua wasn't facing to see. Didn't seem like she was going to say anything. He continued to walk out the room, when he once again heard her. "Killua." Her voice sounded frail and gentle. He briefly turned to look at her whilst in the doorway, his eyes cold. "Please find a cure for Gon." She was crying. He'd never seen Bisky look so broken. Killua turned away, walking out of the room with his silent footsteps. He was determined to save his friend. Gon was his friend. Without Gon, he'd still be with his crazy family. Gon was someone who had been so bright, he had managed to make Killua smile more then he remembered. His eyes focused on the ground, and he left the hospital eying a few of the doctors with almost hatred for the fact they couldn't save Gon. 


End file.
